I may be young, but it has not taken me long to notice the fact that some people are passed over by the general population because they aren't as social as others might like. The person who does not draw attention to him or herself at a party or a social gathering may not be worth getting to know, so they are easy to ignore. People mistake silence or shyness for disinterest. I learned this when I began dating Rob. He is shy by nature, so some of my friends vocalized their concern/confusion about our compatibility. What was someone like him doing with a loudmouth like me?
I suppose it never occurred to these concerned individuals that I had no interest in dating my identical twin, or that we were more alike beneath the surface than people realized. True, I'm loud, dramatic, Cuban/Italian, and naturally tan, while Rob is reserved, passive, and fair-skinned. Yet underneath we share a love for reading, politics, dinners out, movies, and true crime shows. Even deeper than that is our shared love of and commitment to family, our core values, and each other. The past five years have taught me what it means to know the "inside baseball" of a shy person, to understand the inner workings of another human being and speak their unique language.
Some people give it all away in the first five minutes. You can tell exactly who they are and what they are about. There's no mystery, no treasure hunt for understanding and deeper interpersonal knowledge. Rob is the opposite. It takes a little digging, a little patience to understand what he's really about. Yet when you put in the time, you discover his dry yet fabulous sense of humor and his passion for all things baseball. You look into the ocean blue of his eyes as he tells you about historical events as if he was right there, and it's impossible not to want to know more. Perhaps I'm biased because he had me from the very beginning. I was crazy about him from the first date, so naturally I wanted to know everything about him. I spent time scouring the sports section that summer just so I could speak knowledgeably about his favorite team. One might say I was trying too hard, but I say I was just interested. I wanted to know the details he didn't share with everyone else, and the time I spent finding them out was well worth it.
To love someone for exactly the person that they are, for all the minute details, is a gift. When we open ourselves to the opportunity, sometimes we are able to go from being an outsider to an insider and meet the people in this world who are most worth knowing in the process. In my short time on earth, I have learned that much.
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