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I let my mom control my emotions way too much. She called me today about this article she read on college essays. She told me what they said, and when she was done she asked me if I could implement any of than into my essays. I told her that the grammatical stuff had already been changed by my teachers, and the thing about addressing the school by name wouldn't really work for my topics. I thanked her sincerely, told her I couldn't wait to read the books she bought for me. She was silent for awhile and then she said, "Okay." All disappointed. Was she expecting me to jump up and down, thanking her for saving my immortal soul (and my college apps)? I tried to be nice about it, but jeez. Things are so different between the two of us, and it's even stranger now because now she knows it for herself. I try to change it, but it just ends up in an argument. I need to move. I need to go away.
I don't know why I'm not good enough for her.

I'm sick of hearing, "Do you know how lucky you are?" Can I just be sad for two seconds guilt-free? Because so far that's never happened. Ugh.

Anyway, on to positivity! (cue the happy music and the positive emoticons!) (and the exclamation points!) (and the parentheses!)

I saw Garden State this afternoon, and it rocked. I loved it so much. It was incredibly intelligent, slightly screwed up, and also kind of sweet. Go see it even if you, my little underage readers, have to sneak in. (see my icon)

It made me think about something: it seems to me that we are all waiting for that one person to come into our lives and complete us. The person who will supposedly fill the spaces inside of us and make us whole. If that person does exist, and I hope it does, it's more likely than not going to happen in high school. 1 in 1000 high school couples get married. So I was thinking...maybe we should just all open up our locked doors and find each other.

Comments

omnusomega
Aug. 30th, 2004 01:59 pm (UTC)
i want to go to nyit, iona, or manhattanville, or maybe even worcster up in massachusetts, i got the sats to get into even better schools but my grades hold me back
awriterswindow
Aug. 30th, 2004 07:59 pm (UTC)
Mmm...conundrum. It'll work out for you, though. I have faith in you.

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