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I'm not...

After the last entry, I decided to write another directly after.

Someone told me this week that they were wondering what I'm like outside of school. It made me think even more than I previously have about two things:
a) What do people actually think of me inside of school?
b) Do they actually think I'm that girl outside of school?

I kind of feel like I'm this defensive, sarcastic, "I-will-kick-your-ass-if-you-say-that-again" kind of person inside of school. I can see how this would make me a bitch. *shrugs* I own that. I suppose I feel that the people worth my time (and who feel that I am worth theirs), will attempt conversation with me (real conversation, not "I can't BELIEVE she got that part!" conversation) and get to know who I really am any why I act like that. I'm nice, I promise!

I just feel like if I'm at all philosophical (apart from those "deep" comments I can't help but say), people either think I'm strange or don't understand. If I say something really nice to someone, half the time they don't even care, which really kills me. It's not that I do it for them to care, but it kind of stings when people don't.

I don't care if everyone likes me. I just want the right people to care. I don't want good people to pass me up as a friend because they think I'm something that I'm really not.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
missing_apart
Aug. 28th, 2004 05:00 pm (UTC)
hey, i know what u mean... hey ppl think i'm strange too.
u gonna be in the play? cause if u r, itsa gonna be great! tech is fun, u have like 2 hours of doing nothing and actually get to work after everyone's gone. sooo well wish sometime we have time to talk about stuff. well much love and i leave u with peace out. bye!
awriterswindow
Aug. 29th, 2004 02:20 pm (UTC)
Yep, tech. And this will be good tech because all of the good people are basically on tech. I'm not in love with many of the cast members (but I do <3 Steve and Sam and Karli and stuff), so most of my good friends are on tech. We'll all go see movies and terrorize the people at Riverfront and stuff. It'll be great!
justcallmepaco
Aug. 28th, 2004 06:11 pm (UTC)
OMFG YOU HAVE DEFYING GRAVITY FROM WICKED AS YOUR SUBJECT LINE ON YOUR 2ND MOST RECENT ENTRY. YOU ARE AMAZING!
awriterswindow
Aug. 29th, 2004 02:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I feel special. :) Isn't that soundtrack just awesome?
kerp
Aug. 28th, 2004 06:28 pm (UTC)
That's what I'm like too. I don't think people see the real me at school because I'm just not a very social person. But outside I am a lot different, and I'm glad that I have good friends who do see the real me.
awriterswindow
Aug. 29th, 2004 02:19 pm (UTC)
:) You're awesome, is what you are!
kerp
Aug. 29th, 2004 06:04 pm (UTC)
As are you!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )