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You know what they say about assuming...

Today's topic: assumptions.

The reason? I'm sick of them.

We all make them. We all, once in a while, or maybe more often, look at someone and make a judgement. Or look at a car and make a judgement about the person who owns it based on it's condition. We take what appears to be and, quite dogmatically, make it into our own personal truth.

It's really got to stop.

It's an individual choice. We all screw up ("We all make f-ing mistakes." -Court), but there are many times where we are conscious of what we do and say and how it is going to affect the person on the other end of the conversation.

I'm writing this for a million reasons, mainly because I'm sick of people making assumptions about my sexuality. People, especially the guys, think it's hilarious to assume that I'm a lesbian. First of all, why do people act like a lesbian is a bad thing to be? What, do you get some kind of special award for being straight? Second, just because you assume that I'm single, it doesn't automatically make me gay. And people wonder why girls are so insecure without a guy in their life. It's not just the loneliness or not having a date to homecoming. It's the fact that people make assumptions about them based on their relationship status. Lesbian, ugly, easy...the list goes on.

I try to brush it off as a joke, but it's gotten to the point where I can't even stand up for what I believe in (when the time calls for it) without having my sexuality called into question. Today I told someone not to use the "d" word (derogatory term for lesbians, I don't need to write it here), and they said, "And why is that?" giving me this look. "Is that because you are?"

First of all, if I were, I'd kick your ass for using that word to describe me, Catholic school or no Catholic school. Second of all, that word is terrible. It's ignorant and it's wrong. I don't care what you think I am, I'm going to tell you (in a nice way) that it's just not cool when you say it. The icon I'm using for this entry speaks for itself.

What really got me is what this person said afterward. "D__ is just a term used to describe ugly women who sleep with other women."

Are you FUCKING kidding me? You're ugly, buddy. Inside and out, just for that. Saying shit like that is NOT okay. EVER. I don't care who the fuck you think you are.

Going off on a tangent here, I really don't understand why people are SO obsessed with sexuality anyway. It's important to the person themselves, but why is it so important to other people? Someone who might be gay is a huge topic for discussion. Why is it that everyone can't live their own life without people trying to get involved in something so personal? Whoever someone sleeps with is their business.

Everyone has their own example of assumptions being used against them. These are just some of mine.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 24th, 2004 02:05 pm (UTC)
Something I told a friend when he went through a similar situation:

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that people cannot see humanity.
I'm sorry that the world is filled with people who can only see sexuality, gender, race, religion.
I'm sorry that many people cannot love.
I'm sorry that the world seems to be boiling in hatred.
I'm sorry that there will always be ignorance.
I'm sorry that people are blind to the issues that tear us apart.
I'm sorry that what you have gone through is a plague upon mankind.
I'm sorry that people only try to see in black and white, and never through someone else's eyes.

But mostly I'm sorry that people cannot see you as I see you.

I love you.

I love you because of who you are, who you were, who you will be.

I love you.
Aug. 25th, 2004 03:00 pm (UTC)
Did you write that? I love that.

Thank you. You're awesome. I love you. :)
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 25th, 2004 02:54 pm (UTC)
Lol. I love that. Makes total sense.
Aug. 24th, 2004 04:16 pm (UTC)
hey ash, don't worry about it, don't listen to those ignorant bastards! (sry about the bad words). as i see it, doesn't matter what ignorant ppl think of u, but what u think of urself. plus friends are always there, they would not say that kind of stupid ass comment. pardon my french... hehehe well i'll see ya tomorrow. much love
Aug. 25th, 2004 02:56 pm (UTC)
Don't worry about language, my dear. The word that person used is 1,000,000 times worse than any curse word you could ever say...at least in my book.

Thanks for being so sweet.

Aug. 25th, 2004 11:04 am (UTC)
yeah u just got to learn to ignore them
i have ppl make their assumptions abot me but thats my fault kinda, but u already know about that, just shrug it off, eventually they'll leave u alone or u can bury them in the backyard.....disregard that last comment(please dont tell the cops lol)
anyway it dont matter what other ppl think, as long as u got good self esteem then who cares how a bunch of ppl u barely think of u, as long as ur friends like u how u are then ur ok, and if they dont then they dont deserve to be ur friends
Aug. 25th, 2004 02:58 pm (UTC)
LOL. You know, I knew the backyard was good for something. It's like they say, "Friends help you move, best friends help you move the body." Hehe.

Thanks. What you said was really awesome. I appreciate it a lot. :)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )