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I love you just the way you are

"Life may be scary, but it's only temporary."-Avenue Q

My grandparents came into the city today, which was great. I love them a lot. I felt really bad because I was standing outside waiting for them, and it turns out they were sitting near me waiting for me. Which, now that I type it, doesn't exactly seem like a federal offense, but I guess I just felt guilty.

We went to lunch and walked around a bit. Then we went back to our hotel and got ready for dinner and Movin' Out. Dinner was really awesome, and Movin' Out was excellent. The show is sort of a concert/play. The story is acted out through modern dance to Billy Joel songs. I definitely prefer Avenue Q (but then again, I put Q above all else), but it was amazing how talented these people are. They have to have been dancing since they could walk. You should see the bodies on these people. They have 8-packs; I'm not kidding.


Something happened to me today that made me think about livejournal. First of all, I can't talk about the important things that are going on with me in here, or, frankly, with anyone. Second of all, it's just getting hard to read about certain subjects that, in reality, should not be difficult for me to read about. I love to write, plus my mom paid for this thing, so I can't really give up livejournal. It's just hard sitting down to type and knowing that you can't say what you really want to without clicking "private" before you click "update journal". A lot of people can be so personal in their lj's, and I admire that so much. The thought of doing that now makes me afraid.



1. The more people freak out, the calmer I get, hence the reason I could care less about the impending hurricane.

2. I really hate when people make their race or sexuality a huge part of who they are. It's part of who you are, it's important, but it isn't everything. Prime example, the now former governor of New Jersey. Sweetness, this is NOT about the fact that you're a gay American, okay? This is about the fact that you gave your lover a 110,000 a year job when he's a fucking POET and did not have the qualifications. Don't even preface that issue with your, "I'm gay" declaration. I could care less what you are. [END RANT]

3. A lot of people wonder if I'm a lesbian due to my strong stance on gay rights and the fact that I will get quite upset if you use the "f" word and the "d" word. And no, I'm not talking about the word "fuck". The other day, I was talking about crushes with someone. I said something along the lines of, "Some of the juniors are cute" and my friend said, "Junior guys or junior girls?" And that's just one example.

4. Whenever I love something, I have to know everything about it, which explains the fact that I know Avenue Q inside and out. Ask me anything! :)

5. I'm dying to just let loose when it comes to acting and singing, but something inside me won't allow me to. I have so much passion for those two things. I have to work on that. When I'm alone, forget it. All strings are cut, and I'm free.

6. I rarely let people listen to music I really like with me present. It totally makes me embarrassed. I start squirming.

7. I think pregnancy is probably one of the most beautiful things on earth.

8. I wonder if people at school really know who I am. I think I come off a lot as, "If-you-touch-me-I-will-kick-your-ass" (hence the reason I had to tell someone last year that even though I appear that way, it would be okay to kiss me when I went out with him. He did. :) ) Really, I'm a lot nicer than I seem to be, and a lot more sensitive. If people would take the time (like a few have) to sit with me on the m-wing wall and just talk, they'd see that. I know the guys that are worth dating will do that...will see through the defense I put up and just get to the bottom of me.

9. I can't stand arrogance or lying. Seriously, arrogance is not the way to impress me. I don't care how much you work out, or what you got on some test scores, or who you know. I really, really don't. As a button reads, "Here's a quarter: call someone who cares".

10. I adore honesty, but I believe some people can be too honest. I think it's unfair to hurt someone's feelings and then say, "Well, I was just being honest. That's how I am." Uh, no. You were just being classless. There's a big difference!

11. I hate being bossed around by people who are not my parents, teachers, or elders. Unfortunately, as a drama kid, it happens A LOT. Some kid will always attempt to be the director even though he/she is just a chorus member like the rest of us. When I was volunteering with Court and we directed a play, something I told the cast is that there is only one director and that they were not to direct one another. That they were all equal.

12. I am a total romantic. I can be heard in the quiet of my bedroom saying, "Awwwwww! That's sooooooo sweet!" in a very squeaky, un-Ashlike voice during an episode of Dawson's Creek.

13. I feel like it seems like I say so much personal stuff in here, but really I hold back a lot.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
shenanagins
Aug. 13th, 2004 08:34 pm (UTC)
Would you put Avenue Q above Homestarrunner?
And there's a hurricane coming?!?! Why wasn't I informed?!
awriterswindow
Aug. 14th, 2004 06:53 am (UTC)
Sure I would! Especially because I'm a little angry at Homestarrunner because you love it more than you love me. *cries* Just kidding. :p

Well, are you in Denmark still? Maybe tha'ts why. Yeah, there's this big category 4 storm coming...it's hitting Orlando and going up or something, but Ft. Lauderdale has to be somewhat worried I guess.
last_chance_314
Aug. 14th, 2004 11:51 am (UTC)
in my eyes theres nothing wrong with you....theres something i have to talk to you about but well actually i figured it out but i'll explain if you would like.............................gotta do some serious summer reading.

love ya lots
blossom_toez
Aug. 14th, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC)
I totally agree about the sexuality thing... A friend of mine is gay, and he is fabulous, I love him to death, and he posted something on his LJ about being gay... I'll find the quote. "I know it was terrible being the fag in your school/small town/own mind, but don't introduce yourself to people with this information. Being gay is, and should be, the least interesting thing about you." This was on this "rules for gay men" list... another one of my favorites: "you are not a strong black woman. You never will be."

I did a staged reading with the uncle of a guy in Movin' Out. It's a small world.
blossom_toez
Aug. 14th, 2004 12:29 pm (UTC)
another rule: "Rainbow flags, bumper stickers, and wind socks are no different than Green Bay Packers fans painting their faces green and gold: a complete embarrassment."
awriterswindow
Aug. 15th, 2004 08:20 am (UTC)
That is EXACTLY it. That quote totally explains it. I get that it's important, I really do, but it's not all of who you are. It's like that girl Melissa on the Real World (New Orleans) who kept calling herself "the brown girl". Um, who cares if you're black? I don't.
awriterswindow
Aug. 15th, 2004 08:23 am (UTC)
P.S. How cool! Definitely a small world.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )