August 28th, 2004

feet butterfly

Unlimited...we could be...unlimited...We could be the greatest team that's ever been...

Well, I got my headshots done. Yay. I'll put them up on here later. They look really nice...I'm so happy.

I write this, and I don't sound happy. Ack, whatever. This is inane.

Apparently I don't have to apply to the theater program until after I get accepted...I screwed it all up. Oh well. Now I have to get three letters of recommendation (yeah, like Talerico's really going to write me one), for them. I'm copying Loewe's, I'll ask my guidance counselor to do one, and I'll be super brave and ask Coyle. He loves me, thank the Lord.

I went to Borders and bought Laughing Wild by Christopher Durang...I'm using one of the monologues from there, and one from The Children's Hour for my FSU auditions. I won't do them for ITS, since I know I'll get all kinds of shit about one of them. It's just not worth it.

Things are slightly better than they were before. Thanks to everyone who really dealt with me during this past week, namely Court, Austin, and Jon. You guys rock and I love you.

I bought Scream today, and the new Avril CD. (*sings* So much for my happy ending...)And I've been listening to Wicked like crazy. Great show.

Apparently there are people from school who read these (and their mothers do too). So if you're reading mine, hi. Oh, and I don't care.

Hmm, so...conclusions for this week:

1. Car accidents suck.
2. Sometimes you really have to look beyond a person's "front" to see the core of them.
3. High school theater is all about three things: favoritism, typecasting, and complete and utter bullshit.
4. "Say what you feel and be who you are, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
5. You can't fight other people's battles.
6. Don't take it personally when people are bitchy.
7. You can't apply to college for someone else...they have to do it themselves.
8. I should care less about what people think.
9. I don't care who reads this, but I love most of the people who do (exceptions being people who suck. And I don't talk to you if you suck.)
10. This entry is sorta pointless...

*grins* God, I feel like such a bitch. Do you guys still like me anyway?
  • Current Mood
    bitchy bitchy
feet butterfly

I'm not...

After the last entry, I decided to write another directly after.

Someone told me this week that they were wondering what I'm like outside of school. It made me think even more than I previously have about two things:
a) What do people actually think of me inside of school?
b) Do they actually think I'm that girl outside of school?

I kind of feel like I'm this defensive, sarcastic, "I-will-kick-your-ass-if-you-say-that-again" kind of person inside of school. I can see how this would make me a bitch. *shrugs* I own that. I suppose I feel that the people worth my time (and who feel that I am worth theirs), will attempt conversation with me (real conversation, not "I can't BELIEVE she got that part!" conversation) and get to know who I really am any why I act like that. I'm nice, I promise!

I just feel like if I'm at all philosophical (apart from those "deep" comments I can't help but say), people either think I'm strange or don't understand. If I say something really nice to someone, half the time they don't even care, which really kills me. It's not that I do it for them to care, but it kind of stings when people don't.

I don't care if everyone likes me. I just want the right people to care. I don't want good people to pass me up as a friend because they think I'm something that I'm really not.
  • Current Mood
    curious curious